Familiarity Lesson
Number Nine~Jólakötturinn, A Most Un-Divine Yule Feline!
By Ame Dyckman, Divine Feline by Steelgoddess
Greetings, my petite pagans! It is I, the witch’s familiar with the penname The Divine Feline, here with your lesson on—
Oh, no! It’s The Noise! The dreaded Yuletide Clicking Noise! It’s… it’s… Knitting needles! And knitting needles this time of year can mean only one thing: The annual Yule cat sweater.
Oh, how I hate them. Despise them. Loathe them! So, why don’t I just use my built-in “seam rippers” to shred my little present problem into some far-more-fun bits of loose yarn?
Because of Jólakötturinn, of course.
What?! You’re unfamiliar (pardon the pun) with Jólakötturinn?! Well, human kittens, grab a mug of spiced apple cider, pull up your computer chair, and read on—if you dare!
Jólakötturinn, or the Yule Cat (my, that’s far easier to pronounce, isn’t it?) is a fearsome feline from Icelandic folklore. (From the famous Icelandic poet Jóhannes úr Kötlum, translated by Vignir Jónsson):
His whiskers, sharp
as bristles,
His back arched up high.
And the claws of his hairy paws
Were a terrible sight.
While the oldest written sources of the Yule Cat date back to only the nineteenth century, the oral legend of this enormous, hungry beast has been scaring the herring out of Iceland’s children for several centuries longer. 1n 1746, the governing Danish regime even issued a law which banned the “too terrifying” tales of the Yule Cat and his family—the ogress Gryla, her husband Leppalúdi, and their 13 mischievous and malevolent children, the Yule Lads.
As the legend goes, on Yule Eve the monstrous, razor-clawed Yule Cat descends from Gryla’s mountain cave searching for people—especially children—who didn’t receive a new item of clothing as a Yule gift.
He roamed at large,
hungry and evil
In the freezing Yule snow.
In every home
People shuddered at his name.
And then, he eats them.
That’s right--eats them! And all of their Yule dinner, too. (Suddenly puts my whole little incident with the Beltane 2008 cheese platter into perspective, now doesn’t it?)
We can't all be divine--shame, isn't it?
Why this feast on the fashion-less? Like all good “boogeyman” stories, the threatened consumption by the Yule Cat is a consequence of engaging in “bad” behavior. Historically, this bad behavior meant failure to complete the Autumnal spinning—i.e., not contributing to the community’s wool-dependent economy—prior to the Yule holiday. Today, the threat of the Yule Cat is used a general warning for children to be good, as evidenced with the modern Icelandic saying (translated): “You don’t want to go to the Yuletide Cat!”
Indeed, the Yule Cat is still quite the popular fellow, appearing in souvenir and gift shops, in contemporary music… he even has his own fan page on Facebook!
So what does the Yule Cat have to do with this kitty wearing his annual hideous hand-knit cat sweater? Why am I worried if his holiday din-din of choice is a child? Well, you see—and don’t you dare laugh!—my witch always calls me her “baby.” And when dealing with gluttonous demon cats, it’s best not to risk any possible misinterpretation!
Thus, though it’s itchy, uncomfortable, and a total fashion faux “paw,” wearing my cat sweater is a preferred alternative to possibly becoming an appetizer!
And now that I think of it, I suppose it is rather touching that my witch goes to all this “knit one, purl two” trouble just for me. Truth be told, whether she’s casting spells or casting stitches (sigh), I’m still lucky she’s my family.
So, when you unwrap your own gifted sweater, pair of socks, or even underwear from your family this Yule, be sure to respond with a big hug, a butt of your head, or however it is you say “thank you.” Then pull it on and shout, “Neener-neener-neener, Jólakötturinn! Can’t get me!”
And when the lights
came on, on Yule Eve
And the Cat peered in,
The little children stood rosy and proud,
All dressed up in their new clothes.
Some had gotten an apron
And some had gotten shoes
Or something that was needed--
That was all it took.
For all who got something
new to wear
Stayed out of that pussy-cat's grasp.
He then gave an awful hiss
But went on his way.
Bright blessings for a merry Yule, kittens! Have a divine time until we meet again!
Your friend in magick,
The Divine Feline
The Divine Feline sends a special purr of appreciation to the “Yule in Iceland” website (English translation): www.simnet.is/gardarj/index.html